I HATE CRAYONS

Hate---it is a VERY strong word. I don't allow my children to use it because I feel it is a word with such an ultimatum and leaves not room for forgiveness. I really try not to use it myself except in extreme situations. Well, this is an extreme situation. I HATE CRAYONS!!!! Even as a child I didn't really like them. I didn't like the way they smelled and I didn't like how they made my hands feel. For those reasons I still don't like crayons as an adult. But, I have one more reason as an adult that I don't like crayons----they go through the laundry and RUIN clothing. A few years ago Taylor left an orange crayon in his pocket. It went through the laundry and ruined many things. Being the poor college student's wife that I was I desperately called the Crayola 800 number and followed their suggestion on how to get crayon out---this involved a lengthy process of applying WD-40, dish soap, and maybe one other thing to the clothing, rubbing it in and then washing the clothing, and then repeating if necessary!! It took forever. Not something I wanted to repeat again.
Fast forward 3 1/2 years--- last week I was pulling clothes out of the dryer. What do my tired, I've had a long day, mother of 4 children, I just want a break eyes behold????!!!!! "NO, it can't be, not again. I thought we learned that lesson." Yep, it was orange crayon. But, says me, "It will be okay. It ruined a few things but it was on mostly dark things and mostly play clothes." I was upset and reprimanded my children the next morning. I thought that was the end of it. But, apparently there is something I didn't learn the two previous times. Today, being Monday and laundry day because all good wives in Boston do their laundry on Monday (name that book), I pulled a load of clothes---jeans no less--- out of the dryer. And what do my little peepers see? Yet another crayon wrapper in my dryer. "Oh, maybe they peeled it off and put the wrapper in their pocket," I foolishly think. Then I begin to look more closely at the new fodder for the landfill. Yes, there is WHITE melted crayon on the freshly washed clothes.
Two weeks in a row. This is ridiculous. I don't want to wait around and see what will go through next week---maybe purple or perhaps turquoise? No thank you. I can now say my home is a "crayon free" zone. That's right, I threw every crayon in my house away (with the exception of one lone brand spankin new orange one--I just couldn't throw away a new one and it is carefully hidden). Now, hold on there. I know you are thinking I am a terrible mother. Where and how will my children share their creative abilities and express themselves. Lest you turn me into Child Protective Services let me tell you my children do have WASHABLE markers and colored pencils. So you may rest easy knowing that my children will still be able to share with the world their creative side through other mediums. Also, I've been thinking maybe I should start a new designer children's clothing line. I'll call it CRAYOLAWEAR. No two pieces will be alike. I'll make a bundle!!